Dear Americans(ages 18-34)/Englandans (toddlers only)/Starving Hondurans (65+),


First, only those readers who belong to one or preferably more of the groups listed above are allowed to read this site. Don’t get me wrong, I do love you all but my partner here, R.H., tells me that those are the most coveted demographics these days for advertisers. Taking into consideration the looming demise of pop culture as we know it, one can understand why we don’t want any goddamn well fed Hondurans reading this site, they’re just not going to reply to clever adds for erecticle enhancement pills, thereby robbing us of a juicy commission rivaled only by the money I received for my best selling memoir, If I Did It: How I Would’ve Killed Nicole Simpson. Wait, just stop, I know what you’re thinking, trust me I do, we’re not in this for the money. In fact, we’re here for you and for us. See, when we’re not making poor tasteless jokes about Nicole Simpson’s murder, we like to pretend to be good writers and the fact is that we watch so many movies, read so many books, listen to so much music, and get aroused by so many episodes of explicit HBO shows (I’m looking at you Curb Your Enthusiasm) that it would just be unjust to not throw in our two cents about our rapidly fading culture. I doubt any of this will be very good and I hope to acquire at least one starving Honduran reader, if he buys a pill to make his wee wee larger, our mission is accomplished.

I yield the floor to

R.H. :

Thank you for that, Vman. Basically we here at this unglorious, but widely appealing bloggish-critical-war~training site will accomplish one thing, or at the very least, we will try. We’ll Hit the City. Where there’s a One Way Street Down In The Dark.

I’m highly encouraged by my better senses to make this a better written and more interesting About section. I’ll get back to you on that as soon as life relaxes. May take awhile.

*UPDATE*: Our most definitive goal is to be quoted in the “Express” newspaper, a publication of “The Washington Post.” Sure.


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